Aunt Debbie’s Tribute to Ben

On Wednesday, September 5th, 1979 at approximately 8:30 a.m., my husband called me at work to say Vicky was in labor and they were on the way to the hospital. I left immediately to join them, and approximately one hour later at St. Joe’s hospital in Milwaukee, WI I watched as Benjamin James came into the world. It was one of the most exciting days of my life – one I will never forget.  It’s rather interesting how Ben received his name. Len and Vic had been on the phone back and forth from Milwaukee to Texas for a couple days trying to decide on a name for their son. The day before Vicky was to leave the hospital, a nurse came into her room and told her, “You have to give your baby a name before you can leave the hospital.” So the dilemma continued. Ben was lying on Vicky’s chest and I stood there with her looking at this beautiful little boy. A decision had to be made. Lenny had suggested Benito, after a cute little guy on his swim team, so Vicky and I tweeked it a bit and decided on BENJAMIN JAMES GARCIA. The name seemed to fit him perfectly! I think Lenny was pleased too when we told him.  Because Len had taken a job in Brownsville, Texas several weeks earlier and Vicky was almost 9 months pregnant, she was unable to travel with him. After Ben’s birth, the doctor told Vicky it would be at least a month or more before she could take Ben on a plane. This gave me the unique opportunity of having my new, and first nephew spend those first days of his life with us.  Vicky slept on our living room couch, and we made a bed for Benjamin out of a large dresser drawer that we put next to her on our love seat. It was padded with blankets and covered with a blue, pink and white afghan knit by our mom just for Ben.  When Vicky and her family visited Wisconsin, they often stayed with us. Even when I had to wake Ben from a restful sleep at 10:30 in the morning in order to get him up from the mattress or sleeping bag on our living room floor, the first thing I’d see was that crooked little smile. It may have been because he knew he was about to be treated to one of Aunt Debbie’s Bed and Breakfast specials. But then again, maybe he just couldn’t help it. I nicknamed him Benjamima because of his love for my specialty pancakes.  Ben’s attitude and outlook were always positive. For the most part, he didn’t have a care in the world, and if he did, you’d never have guessed it. Ben truly LOVED LIFE! I was able to experience many things with Ben – some of his first steps, some of his first words, and his first swim meet where he actually won 3 ribbons even though he was two years younger than the boys he was swimming against. I knew this was only the beginning.  Ben had a tremendous love for the water, as I’m sure all of you know. Over the past several years he went from swimming and diving to water polo and surfing. I recall the Christmas when Ben received his first wet suit from his parents. As he held it up to his body, it was obvious this would become a second layer of skin for him. And I remember how ecstatic he was when he was able to purchase his first surfboard.  And who will ever forget Ben’s humor and that silly laugh of his? Even though many of his “jokes”, and I use that term loosely, were absolutely ridiculous, you couldn’t help but laugh with him. Besides, he ALWAYS laughed at his own jokes, as if to say, “That WAS really funny.” My husband and Ben related all to well on that level. Sometimes I thought the two of them would drive my Dad and me nuts! Many of our family members often looked at each and asked, “What’s WITH those two?”  When Ben was making decisions about his college major (initially he considered meteorology – now that would have been a tough job in California), my husband Gregg was able to share with him some of the benefits of a business or marketing background. They spoke of the advantages and stimulations the business world might offer someone of Ben’s caliber and shared an enthusiasm for finance and investing. Ben responded well to Gregg’s advice and encouragement. He graduated from college a couple years ago, and eventually landed a very nice job that suited him well and one he truly enjoyed. We were so proud of him.  After working for many years as a lifeguard over summers and holiday weekends, ironically, it was his own life Ben was unable to save. He gave something truly special to everyone who knew him. And if you met him, I’d dare say you would never forget him. It was nothing short of amazing to me, as well as other family members what Ben’s presence brought to a room the minute he entered it. What was it? Who really knows? It was just Ben. If he was unable to attend a family gathering, you knew something was missing – it was the fun-loving, outgoing person of Benjamin Garcia that no one else could emulate. He was truly one of my favorite people and I was so glad he was a part of my family.  For Ben, the time until we see him again will seem like only a moment, for us it will be much too long. In the years to come, I will miss hearing Ben’s voice in a crowd; I will miss his cute and silly laugh; but mostly, I will miss his smile. Fortunately, I have many, many wonderful memories of Ben. I have hundreds of photos taken over the past 24 years of his life. I will cherish them, and him until I die. And then, I will see my Lord, but I will also see Ben’s smiling face again. Until then…  Keep the angels laughing Ben. We love you.  (This tribute,written by Debbie Schwalbe on Sunday, May 30, 2004,  was read at Benjamin’s Memorial Service on Monday, June 7, 2004.)